Unfortnately this blog entry is going to be the last one from erikology. Life teachs us one great thing about human, we suck. Other than that, saying goodbye is kind of thing which is hard to learn. Maybe years and years of experience and you still don't know what kind of person you really are... So erikology has died, from starvation and from strugglling to survive. It may be not bad that when there is nothing to refer to, life may get a bit easier in the future.

In the memory of Mr. Sutherland, a inspirational source of encouragement and enlightening me from Penrose. This encouragement would be accompanied to the best but also the very worst days of my life, everytime I would remember, you don't want the dice, but the dice would point to you. So I take a deep breath and tell myself:" I would not live under shadow of my past, I walked out, and walked on. There would be lots of random Chance events that I may not be able to advoid. But when I have to, I would make it better....to other people."

What will I be after all? Will these four years vanish in my memories? Definitely no. I would treat it as a game, showing my immaturity and stupidity that I would laugh at. Good luck afterall, hope will meet in the future again (which i always imagine to be a LONG LONG future).....

                                                                                                                                                                     Erikology
                                                                                                                                                                     In the memory of Mr. Sutherland

When I watched the Japanese drama "Operation Love", my favourite episode is the one called 'Before 20 years-old'.
20 years old is a cornerstone in life, because it signifies I am no longer a teenager.
Before 20 years old I dd not care about consequences,

I still remembered the past:
it changed me completely.
I remembered I used fight for what I wanted,
I was positive and caught every possible chance.

It's been three years that I lost my integrity,
lost my confidence and ability to habituate the environment.

Although life is a bit difficult,
Everytime I looked at the stars and universe,
I feel I am full of energy.

I think I would miss the days of inrationality,
miss those days that I might placed no concern on consequences.
It would be my last year before 20,
I havn't found the answer,
But I would walk on and hopefully will be able to help those people with lost and broken souls.

Only three weeks to exams. making me so nervous. I hav to finish up the last lab report so that i can officially start my revision. But i am happy that im approching theend of this semester... ha ha. So that i can finally hav a break and catch up with all the things i havnt been in touch for a while, such as friends in china, looking for a parttime job -  a stable one this time.

I havn't not really planned up but several things such as fixing my car and scooter is a must-do. lol. and kind of start having dinne more often with my dad, and watch some more fun movies with friends. also go to gym with akash so that i can be losing my weight. and ..... um.... think its just a bit too much to be squashed into a month of holidays. but i can't wait to hav fun ;)

It has been hard days, and I stand still. 
Looking at pictures, listening to songs.
No one says it would be easy,
as I am walking the longer journey.

I chose to hide, I chose to live,
Acclimatised to the game that life played with me.

Walked like undead, wondered what to put on my map?
Kept a reminder of looking around,
saw things I never seen before.
Some were ugly, some were beauty.
Slept like I never be able to live again, under the pills;
Remembered my favourite book that hugged my sleeples night,
Still remembered.

Mind drifted, as I drove pass another flashing light.
It was time to live, but wasn't a good time to stop.
So I kept driving until I was tired.

Thanks to God who found my way,
Thanks to God who gave me strength and goal to live again;
or I may still walked like undead halfway through the journey, and gave up my life.
I drove back home and shivered in coldness,
Put a sheet covering myself and shrinked like shrimps.
I used my last attempt to kept the warmth in my core,
to telling my story, of my long journey.